Gilgal Recovery Ministry
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작성일 : 12-05-04 21:32
오 집사님 간증 [비디오]
 글쓴이 : 관리자
조회 : 15,432  


5뤌 1일 2012년 간증
단주 14년 생일을 축하합니다. ♡
[이 게시물은 관리자님에 의해 2012-06-05 23:04:22 자유 게시판에서 이동 됨]

홍 연 12-05-06 15:38
답변 삭제  
Amore Dei - 박종호

하나님 사랑 날 위하여 하늘 영광 버리고 오셨네
저 높은 별 넘어 낮고 낮은 땅 위에 갈보리 언덕 십자가 지시고
물과 피를 흘려 죽으신 주
저 하늘 높이 올라가 내 사랑하는 주 만날 수 있을까
저 바다 끝에 달려가 내 사랑 내 주님을 뵈올 수 있을까
하나님 사랑 그 사랑 다함없는 그 품 내 마음 모두 드리리
나는 주의 것 주님 내 구주니 아무 것 부족함 없겠네
나 주안에 살고 주님은 내 안에서 살리

영원토록

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

간증하시는 날도 이 찬양 들으시며
또 눈에 눈물이 그렁그렁하여 간증을 시작하신 오 집사님,
이 찬양이 우리 모두의 고백이 되어야 되겠지요.
오 집사님의 지난 14년의 연륜과 또 집사님의 달란트,
그리고 하나님의 은혜가 모두 뭍어나는 이 간증,
너무나 감사합니다. 그리고 사랑합니다.
Doum 12-05-09 22:12
답변 삭제  
마음 깊은 곳에서부터 감당키 힘들 만큼 벅차게 솟아 오르는 감사와 찬양!

누구보다도 먼저 성 삼위 일체 되시는 하나님께 감사드리고,
우리의 멘토이자 섬김의 본이 되시는 홍 종철 장로님 내외분께 감사하며,
서로의 회복을 빌어주고 격려하며 함께 성장해 나가는 모든 형제 자매님들께 감사드립니다.

너무나 행복하고 기쁜 마음으로 맞이한 단주 14년, 그 감격을 나눌 수 있는 길갈의 가족들이 함께하심으로 인하여 그저 감사할 뿐입니다.

하나님께서 세우신 길갈 회복 공동체, 성령 공동체, 사랑의 공동체가 없었다면 결코 혼자서는 이룰 수 없는 일이었다는 것을 잘 알고 있기에 더욱 감사합니다.

"나는 포도나무요 너희는 가지니 저가 내 안에 내가 저 안에 있으면 이 사람은 과실을 많이 맺나니 나를 떠나서는 너희가 아무 것도 할 수 없음이라. 사람이 내 안에 거하지 아니하면 가지처럼 버리워 말라지나니 사람들이 이것을 모아다가 불에 던져 사르느니라." (요15:5,6)

주님의 말씀 입니다.

우리 모두는 다 포도나무에 붙어 있어 열매를 많이 맺는 가지처럼 그렇게 주님께 붙어 있어서 떨어져 나가지 않고 버리워 말라지지 않는 복된 사람들이 되기를 바랍니다. 

내가 나의 힘으로 무엇인가를 해보려는 욕심을 버리고, '나 주 안에 살고 주님은 내 안에 영원토록 있어'  주님의 힘과 능력 그리고 그 권세를 온전히 의지하여 주님께서 주신 평강의 삶을 매일 매일 영위하며 승리의 길로 나아가는 우리 모두가 될 수 있기를 간절히 기도하며 축복합니다.

회복하는 공동체 Gilgal,
회복의 길을 가는 형제 자매님들에게 힘을 주고 빛으로 그 길을 인도하는 Gilgal,
모두가 주님 안에 있어 결코 혼자의 길을 가지 않는 사람들이 모인 봉사하는 생명 공동체 Gilgal.

사랑합니다.!!!
관리자 12-05-11 22:24
답변  
다음은 오집사님의 간증을 영어로 번 역한 것입니다. (by Joe C.)

Before I begin, I would first like to give all praise and glory to God,
who guided and protected me through 14 years of sobriety.
And I thank Dr. Hong and his wife for having a compassionate heart
and continuing through hard times and not giving up on this ministry.
I also thank everybody here and I want give a message of encouragement to all of us
who share the hope of recovery and new life. All of us are together in strength, hope, and courage.
14 years clean- that must mean I’ve been clean from all mind altering drugs, including alcohol.
So for 14 years I’ve been drinking nothing but water…
For me, sobriety meant more than just abstaining from alcohol.
The direction of my life, my habits, thought process, life style, etc.
It meant a complete change in every corner of my life.
I was not alone in this process. It wouldn’t have been possible if I had been alone.
And that is all the more reason why God, Dr. Hong and his wife,
and you guys mean so much to me and my life.
With all of this help, God allowed me to stay sober and clear minded for the past 14 years.
And to maintain sobriety, I spent those 14 years trying to live by new principles.
During that time I had to focus on honesty more than I had ever done in all 60 years of my life.
And I spent that period of my life learning about the meaning of humility, sacrifice,
and love with my head, my mind, and through my actions.
Of course by no means did I achieve perfect humility, sacrifice, or love in my life.
What I got was the realization of the value of living such a life,
and the opportunity to start living that life.
I want to give thanks, praise, and glory to God again, for holding on to me, leading me,
and protecting me so I can live the life like the man he created me to be.

God lead me to a Korean A.A. Fellowship after I had completely gone astray and
was going through the toughest period of my life. He let me meet Dr. Hong and his wife.
I was reborn in Christ, and I was no longer living just in the physical sense.
I experienced a spiritual awakening, and I was given a new life through the Holy Spirit.
God used Dr. Hong to lead me to the gospel and I was blessed with the redemption of eternal life.
I was completely lost in life. I was like a blind man, not knowing right from left. I could no longer tell what was the truth and what was not. I was living aimlessly, feeling no sense of reward,
and enslaved to my sensuality. When I look back, I realize how pathetic and sad of a life I was living.

My foolishness and flaws are so great I cannot even begin to describe. But to someone like me,
God showed me love and gave me His wisdom.
God treated my disease, allowed me to recover, awakened my spirituality, helped me mature,
and find out what the meaning of life is, and what I should do with my life.
I was doomed to die, but God gave me salvation and granted me eternal life.
2 Corinthians 5:16-17 This verse really touched my heart and filled me with joy.
Therefore, if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things have passed away,
new things have come.
If anyone is in Christ, he will be renewed. ANYONE.

My life was like a dirty used mop. A piece of garbage.
There was nothing about me that could be recycled to be of any good use.
When I looked at how my life had fallen apart, I completely gave up on any restoration.
I went on living finding relief each day from the satisfaction of making a little bit of money,
drinking, marijuana, women… My spirit was tied down in a dark place, and my soul, and even my face, had turned black. When I was walking this path of destruction Jesus came to find me and
he told me that I can be reborn into a new creation,
and everything in my past has been done away with.
The world shined its lights on my mistakes and short comings. Judged me, criticized me,
and stepped all over me. However, God, the creator of this world,
 accepted all of my flaws and covered up all of my sins. This was the love and grace God gave me,
and those are some of the only things I have I can be proud of.

When I finally made it to A.A., it was not by my own will. I was required by law to attend meetings.
March 1995. It was about 3 o’clock in the morning.
The rest of the world was fast asleep as it was drizzling outside.
There was barely anybody on the freeway. Drunk out of my mind, I left a bar in Korean Town.
I was driving down the wet and slippery 10 freeway at a very fast speed.
I was in my 4 Runner jeep heading east. I was so intoxicated,
the only thing I was still aware of at this point was the blasting music in my car.
A while later, I felt like the car was slipping and sliding, then I felt like I hit something
and then abruptly came to a stop. I’m not sure how much time went by,
but when I finally regained consciousness, my car was flipped over
and I was hanging upside down by my seat belt.
Half conscious, I barely made it out of the car. Leaving my wrecked car behind,
I began to walk down the Grand Ave ramp in the rain.
I’m not sure how much time went by. It couldn’t have been that long. Still drunk out of my mind,
I was sitting on the curb when two police vehicles pulled up. 
After questioning me for a while they put hand cuffs on me and arrested me.
That was my 3rd DUI. As a result I was court ordered to participate in a 30/30 Program.
I only had 2 months left in my probation for the 2nd DUI.
This was my sentence.
30 days of jail time and 30 months in an alcohol program.
And of course I would have to bear the financial cost of all of this.
There was the loan payment balance on the car I totaled, the penalties
and cost of the alcohol programs,
 the fee of the interlock device in my vehicle- altogether it came up to be over $35,000.
And my license was taken away for 3 years before I could apply for a new one.
The plan God had for reforming my life had a harsh beginning. It’s true when they say nothing in free. Even the salvation we received was at the cost of Jesus’ life. This newly reformed life was painstaking.
I went to jail to do my 30 days, but luckily I was released after only doing 2 days.
But instead I had to take part in cal trans. I was ordered to work
from 6 in the morning until 2 in the afternoon cleaning highways, trimming trees alongside roads,
and helping out at homeless shelters doing dishes and cleaning.
I had to sign up for an alcohol program and attend it weekly. I had to keep a diary, do the 12 steps,
report my daily activities, make a compendium, and submit all of this to my probation officer.
And I had to attend A.A. meetings for 3 years.
As I began to take care of all of these requirements, all of my thoughts were focused on
how I could skip out of them. How I could find a short cut or an easy way out of.
Maybe I could pay somebody off?
Maybe I could get  someone else to do this for me?
Of maybe I could say I’m sick and provide false documentation?

Starting May of that year I began to attend A.A. meetings. But I continued to act like I was different
from anyone else. And for about a month I kept my mouth shut.
Then during one meeting I came to accept that I am an alcoholic and took my first step in recovery.
And for the first time I  began to share my feelings at these meetings.
When I would share my experiences, I could not help but to weep.
I finally decided to become sober and clean on June 10.
Come to find out that day is actually the day A.A. was formed. That made it feel more special to me.

 
At one of these meetings I met Dr. Hong and he introduced me to Grace Korean Church.
I began attending every service, I could not help but shed tears. Tears of repentance.
Because I was crying everytime I went to church, I told myself I would not come back.
But each time, I continued to come back each week.
When I think about that I realize how powerless I am before God’s power and love.
At that time I was living with a woman I met in a bar.
I was living confused in agony, regret, shame, and resentment.
Plus I was constantly drunk and high off marijuana, so I was not able to make the right decision.
I was just going with the flow. I felt like my life was so heavy like a cotton ball soaked with water. I
 couldn’t even attempt to try to manage or solve all of the issues I incurred in life.
Only think I could do was blame myself for what I did. I could not find any help.

But somehow I became friends with the people I met in A.A. And I started to find strength
through worship, praise, and prayer and Bible studies.
God let me know what I should do through Romans 12:1-3
1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies
as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Humble Service in the Body of Christ
3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you:
Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.

This passage gave me very clear instructions.
Stop following my will and living by the ways of this world. Instead, follow God’s will,
His righteous and holy will for me. I was to stop relying on my own thoughts and intellect,
and to know how flawed my way of thinking is.
My attitude toward life began to change. The concept behind my actions changed.
I went from a guy who would smoke marijuana while cleaning the freeway for cal trans,
to the hardest working person there, soaking with sweat from picking up trash.
Everyone else laughed at me saying you don’t have to work so hard.
You don’t get paid for working hard. But, I sincerely repented for my past sins
and I worked with this heart while praying.

I worked hard at all of the things the court ordered me to do.
The homework from the alcohol program, diaries I had to submit to my probation officer,
the 12 steps, volunteering at homeless shelters doing the dishes and cleaning.
I put my heart into all of these like it was my personal work.
My attitude and actions changed at my work place as well.
At the time I owned and operated a store of my own.
Before, I was treating my customers with a condescending attitude.
But I started to treat everybody with kindness, including my employees. I showed all of my employees respect and I was mindful of my speech towards everyone.
My perspective changed in the way I viewed everything and everyone.
The world seemed beautiful. My physical body was tired and beat,
but my heart felt lighter and even my face began to lose its darkness
as I gained more peace and serenity in my heart.

It’s true that I only started attending A.A. meetings because I was court ordered to do so.
But later, I started a new meeting at the Orange County Korean Service Center
and started to lead that meeting. I genuinely wanted to be of service and reach out to other addicts.
And I had my very first sobriety birthday there and had the pleasure of receiving my cake from a few
fellow addicts. I followed the instructions of Dr. Hong, who had become my sponsor.
I followed his instructions to a tee. From attending meetings, church, church small groups,
bible studies, Tres Dias, and even becoming the church small group leader,
whatever Dr. Hong told me to do, I did it.
That become a way of living for me. It was a way I learned how to live my life.
The A.A. Serenity Prayer became the guiding principle of my life.
As I practiced accepting what I cannot change, my relationships began to improve.
My actions began to change, and I learned how to find serenity
in the midst of mass confusion and problems.
Even today I still abide by the same principles.
When I face a certain problem I think to myself if I have tried my best to resolve it
and nothing else can be done in my hands OR do I need to build up more courage and try to change what I can. I take my thoughts and considerations to God and pray about it.
I learned that I must go to God and seek His will.
I depend on His will to determine which course of action I should take. Through the years,
I learned that God promises to be with me whenever and wherever. He gave me the faith to believe.
I also learned that the only way I can LIVE is by following the principles laid out in A.A.
The spiritual and practical teachings and principles, the 12 steps and 12 traditions,
the fellowship with fellow addicts, and being of service all thought me how to be honest, obedient,
and humble. Most importantly I learned to love others and sacrifice for them .
Through church I learned about God’s word and who God is. And I was about to meet
God as a new spirit. Through my fellowship with church members I learned how to be humble,
obedient, and forgiving. I matured spiritually by taking part in missions and evangelism.
And I finally realized what the purpose of my life is as I learned more about God’s will.

I came to understand that God is in charge of my life, not me.
And my duty is to follow Him with humility and obedience.
My very first critical understanding was realizing my true reality- my circumstances
and my standing in life. That realization in itself was a blessing from God.
I got to see my true self and the reality of my life. 
I got to see my real dirt and true flaws deep inside of me and I came to confess it to God
and lay it down before Him. Through my relationship with God, others, and myself,
I discovered my character defects. I was truly happy as I began to see myself improve and change.
Through my 3rd step I finally decided to turn my life and will over to the care of God.
Today marks the 14th year I’ve been clean and sober.
But the very first time I decided to stop drinking was long before in June 10th of 1995.
That first sobriety date actually meant a lot to me. I picked a sobriety date that meant a lot to me,
and I felt like it was meant to be. I had a feeling that this special day would lead me down
a happy destiny that would lead to a successful sober life. But what does that even mean?
That good feeling I had was short lasting and only after 2 years and 6 months of sobriety
in November of 1997, I fell back into the grips of alcohol.

I fell back into the problems of my past and became trapped.
I could not escape and fell back into the emotional turmoil that would lead me to my first drink.
At the time I was dealing with a lot of problems within myself.
I was suffering and under a lot of stress.
I had already experienced a failed marriage in my early 30s in Korea.
And it had happened again in my forties. I failed to maintain a happy and healthy family.
The time and people were different, but the problems that came up again were so much the same.
The fundamental problem of my addiction was not resolved, so it was inevitable that the same issues, pain, and agony would emerge again. I learned this the hard way.
The problems were caused by my drug and alcohol addiction,
as well as my problems with the opposite sex.
My family had broken up and I was dealing with a bunch of complicated problems with my ex wife.
I could not resolve these issues, and I fell back into my addiction.
I was back to constantly drinking and smoking marijuana whenever I had a chance. I had no control.
I returned back to who I was before the A.A. meetings and church. I was back to my comfort zone.
I stayed away from A.A. meetings and church. I stayed away from the Bible
and took back my will from God. I lost my obedience and humility. I wanted to chase after this world
and took charge of my life as I began to live enslaved to the night life.

I turned my back on God, Dr. Hong,  and the church sobriety group.
One evening, about 5 months later, I was spending the night drinking at a room salon with a friend.
We finished a bottle, then received a new bottle. As I was taking my drinking and putting it back down I saw an image of my self sitting naked on the plate of food in front of me.
But for some reason, my naked self, was in the form of a dog. And that dog, which was me,
was licking what seemed to be its own vomit. It makes me shudder even to this day.
I thought I was drunk and seeing things. But I looked again after chugging some cold water and
shaking my head. But that dog was still there licking that disgusting pile of vomit.
At that moment I thought of a verse I read in the past.
The Holy Spirit must have been working in me.
“A dog returns to its vomit,”[a] and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.”
Don’t you think this was a perfect description of me?
Later I found out that this is from 2 Peter 2:22
And in verses 20~21 it is written
20 If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
and are again entangled in it and are overcome,
they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning.
21 It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness,
than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command
that was passed on to them.
Isn’t God’s directing amazing?
Video, audio, script
Did you know this passage was in 2 Peter?
I learned through this experience that we need to always have the Bible in our hearts for us to live.
SO how do you think I reacted?
I left that new bottle I had just ordered and left the room salon.
This is a letter Dr. Hong had written to me at the time.
I was the prodigal’s son. He must’ve sent it to me with the heart of the prodigal(father)


Humility and honesty are required to have a successful recovery and life.
I must know myself who I really am, follow the principles,
take part in spiritual recovery fellowships such as A.A. I  learned through experience that only
when I follow their instructions and principles, I am blessed with a successful recovery.
I immediately returned back to recovery fellowships and church.
I threw my insolent self back into the loving arms of God.
It was near the end of April in 1998 when I started my recovery and spiritual life in God again.
I started my step work all over again from step 1, quit coffee, and began to be of service.
 I became tied down to Christ as I strived to mature spiritually and take part in spreading the gospel.
The first taste of recovery. It brought me a truthful and sincere life filled with joy and hope
I would not trade for anything else in the world.
This feeling was better than any type of physical pleasure I felt from alcohol, drugs, or sex.

In Psalms 107:8-9 it says
“8 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
9 for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
What greater blessing than this? give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
    and his wonderful deeds for mankind,

God says he will satisfies the thirsty. Those who love him. I want to hold on to this message.
That satisfaction God give us. What more can I want than that?
And the good things he will give to our thirsty spirits, when I think about how GOOD those things will be my heart is filled with excitement. I cannot even imagine how great they will be.
Aren’t you hopeful about how great these things will be?
When I look at my life from the standards of this world, it seems that nothing is really guaranteed
or promised in my life. Due to the recent economic conditions, my business closed down 2 years ago,
the building I invested in has been sold back to the bank, and I even have to move out of my house
soon because it is being foreclosed. Is that why I relapsed?

Losing all hope in this world, giving up on everything, and drowning myself in alcohol.
Is that the right way to live?
Our self worth is not dependent upon success in business or accumulation in wealth.
Of course we should work hard and honestly and achieve success in this world.
But I want to remind you that we must know how worth through our lives in Christ,
no matter what is going on outside of us.
A friend of mine attempted suicide not too long ago after his business failed.
His attempt was successful and now he is no longer living in this world.
Just like how his success at suicide was not true success,
the financial hardships we face are not really failure in life.
For people who measure their worth through the success of their business, if their business fails,
they no longer have any reason to live. For people who put their worth in money, materialistic things,
and outward appearance, if their worldly possessions fail, so do the worth of their actual lives.
If your dreams are in insignificant things, small events will break your dreams.
If your dreams are in colossal things, little things will not budge your dreams.
Our dreams are to help build the kingdom of God.
Our dreams are to adopt God’s dreams and spread it to the world.
Our dreams are to lead the many lost souls out there to the right path.
If we acquire a lot of wealth through our success in business,
we could use it to make these dreams come true.
But now I realized that God did not allow me to have such financial success because he wanted to me cooperate and work with others. Every little thing seems to be a part of His plan and how he works.
After being sober for 14 years, God has been calling me to missions and sending me to Mexico,
Central America, Asia, and Japan. Through my obedience,
I’m going to Kazekstan on May 7th for another mission.
When God told us to seek His first, I believe he was telling us how to prioritize our lives.
We must protect certain things first, believe in certain things first, and truly depend on things we must depend on. When we do this, we will have already achieved a successful life.
And this success is something that is given to us.
Jesus said in John 16:33
33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
1 John 5:4-5
4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world,
even our faith. 5 Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.
Nowadays, I see a lot of people struggling from financial hardships.
That in turn cause family problems, and problems in relationships.
I am very sad to see people turn to alcohol, drugs, and gambling to deal with their lives’ turmoil.
Jesus said in John 6:35
35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry,
and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

This is a guarantee, a promise Jesus makes to us. That when we go to him,
we will not suffer from hunger or thirst. 
That is why, instead of worrying we obey and instead of being anxious we praise God.
I would like to talk about another verse in the Bible as I get ready to close.
It is a verse from Jerimiah. I heard Dr. Hong once share about this verse
at a meeting in the House of Thanksgiving.
Since then I kept this verse in my heart and found a lot of courage and hope through it.
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm
you, plans to give you hope and a future.
12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
They say the disease we have is a spiritual malady. A spiritual disease.
Instead of taking care of the symptoms, we must fix the root of our problems.
The message of life and hope is being spoken out through the Gialgal mission meetings.
I hope that we can respond to that message, apply it to our daily lives, and experience real change.
And by our involvement in the recovery fellowship, we can learn to help others and be of service.
Through that I hope we can rediscover ourselves and come to understand and love others.
It is written in Luke 18:8
8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes,
  will he find faith on the earth?”
On that final day, Jesus will be looking for true faith.
I pray and wish that the Gilgal community can be a fellowship of service, love, life, and faith.
And I thank you for listening to my experience and testimony.
Thank you.